What is that you really want out of life? Well, lifestyle design is how you get it.
At its core, lifestyle design is all about taking matters into your own hands to create a life that fits you. Practicing lifestyle design positions you as both the designer and builder of your ideal life.
“The rules of reality can be bent. It just requires thinking in different terms,” Tim Ferriss once said—challenging the idea that we should wait until later to design and live our ideal lives, when we can begin doing it now.
So let’s dive right into what those principal areas of lifestyle design are, and how you can go about shaping them.
Find What Gives You Purpose
The first principle of lifestyle design says that you should find your purpose in life.
Purpose is important because it’s the one thing that can truly ground us. People often chase money, status, and success—thinking having those things will make them feel whole. Once they have them, they realize there is still a void because none of those can fulfill us in the same way as living with purpose does.
Don’t just take it from me. Here’s NBA legend and highest-earning player Kevin Durant speaking about how winning his second championship didn’t fill what I like to refer to as the purpose void:
After winning that championship (last season), I learned that much hadn’t changed. I thought it would fill a certain [void]. It didn’t. That’s when I realized in the offseason that the only thing that matters is this game and how much work you put into it. Everything else off the court—social media, perception—isn’t important. What people say, how they view you, it’s not important.
Let’s not make finding purpose overly complicated. The important thing is to simply start experimenting and exploring things you find interesting or meaningful until something sticks.
For me, it’s being a writer. This blog serves as both my creative muse and training ground. For you, it could be anything under the sun—from finding joy in watching construction to knitting fancy sweaters. What you find passion in really doesn’t matter; the most important thing is that you find something that ignites your fire and make it a real part of your everyday life.
Get A Job You Actually Enjoy
Do you enjoy your job? I hope so because the second principle of lifestyle design says you should.
Here’s the math on our working lives assuming a 40-year career:
40 years × 40 hours/week × 50 weeks/year ≈ 80,000 hours
10 years
A decade glued to a seat in an office is a long time, so if that’s what we’re going to do, the least we can do is make sure it’s enjoyable. Even better would be finding work we truly love.
It may take time and will certainly take effort. But no one said lifestyle design is easy. The goal with our careers should be for us to continue to chip away at them until we land ourselves in a role and environment that suits us.
Remember this: life is both too short and too long to spend it stuck in a job you don’t like. Every minute in a bad job is a minute you will never get back, and one you could be spending doing something you find fulfilling. So giddyup and go find yourself some work you actually love.
Be Very Choosy About Your Spouse
I’ve often heard people say that deciding who to marry is the most important decision we can make. The third principle of lifestyle design agrees, as it tells us that we should be very choosy and not settle when it comes to romantic partnership.
I understand that in today’s world the dating landscape is as complicated as ever. It’s so daunting that it makes even the best of us want to throw in the towel sometimes and take someone who’s just… “good enough.” But remember, when it comes to relationships, the good hardly ever gets any better and the bad usually only gets worse.
This means that if you strap yourself into a lackluster romantic situation from the beginning, you’re highly likely to slide into slow, painful romantic collapse down the road.
I can write an entire book on relationships and dating. But for now, I’ll keep it short by telling you to think about what you’re truly looking for in a partner, then get to work shaping yourself into someone who attracts it. With the right level of intentionality, good things should come your way.
Be Intentional About Where You Live
Have you ever wondered why some people grow up in a place and end up staying there without having explored what else the world has to offer? Well, the fourth principle of lifestyle design says that we should be a bit more intentional about the place we decide to call home.
I know that for some of my friends who never left home, the reason is they truly love our city and wouldn’t consider going anyplace else. I know for many others, they haven’t left because, for one reason or another, they haven’t been able to take the initiative to leave in spite of dreaming about what opportunities and adventures would await them out of town.
So how do you actually design your ideal place to live? I like to think of it on two levels:
The actual country and city you decide to call home
Where in that city you choose to set up shop
After having traversed the globe living in 13 cities, I now have a pretty good idea of what I’m looking for. My ideal city is of medium-large size in a mild climate, not too busy or noisy, walkable, with good air quality, and safe neighborhoods offering access to gyms and grocery stores nearby. If those characteristics aren’t present, I know the place isn’t for me.
Cultivate Your Environment
The fifth, and final, principle of lifestyle design reminds us that we should seek to actively cultivate our environments—meaning we should intentionally cultivate everything from the immediate surroundings of our homes to the media we consume, and even the people we associate with on a regular basis.
The ideal life is one where our environments feed our spirits.
If you’re someone who thrives in squeaky-clean environments, then it behooves you to de-clutter and actively keep your space clean. If your media isn’t supporting the emotional states or ideas you’d like to have, it’s time to swap it for something new. The same can be said for friends; too many people are keeping friends they don’t like or trust when the better option would be to simply find better friends.
Obviously, we can’t—and shouldn’t—try to change everything all at once. But we can chip away at it bit by bit until our environments actively support the kind of life we’re trying to live.
Reader Questions: How’s Life?
Seriously. How is your life? Take some time to think about it.
For a very small few, life is perfect. But for most of us, there are some things that could be better, and we now have the tool of lifestyle design at our disposal to see it through.
Since first learning about lifestyle design nearly two decades ago, I’ve kept the idea close at heart as I’ve navigated through life. I’ve used it to answer the tough questions of what I want my life to look like, with great results.
So again, how is life? And how can it be better? Drop me a line to let me know in the comments below.