Since I turned 37 a few weeks ago, it’s time to share my annual reflections around money, aging, and relationships. Last year’s reflection on turning 36 has been read hundreds of times. Looking back, it perfectly captured where I was at the time, and I’m happy that I held true to the intentions I set forth for the year.
Now I look ahead to what turning 37 means to me through the same reflective lens. Age 37 feels like both a checkpoint and a crossroads—here’s where I’m at right now.
To Be, or to Live? The Important Question Turning 37
To be, or to live… What does the question even mean?
I’ve been pondering over it for a couple of weeks now after someone inadvertently asked me this in response to me mentioning that I was working on a visa guide for digital nomads. She replied, “to be, or to live?”—a question she couldn’t explain further and one I still haven’t been able to fully answer.
So far, I’ve decided that “to be” is an action, a verb, something we do. For instance, in our careers we are being whatever role we’ve been assigned. Similarly, we are often being the person we’re expected to be by our families, friends, or society.
“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” – Buddhist Saying
Often we assume identities and begin living them out. Meanwhile there is the other side which is to live – actually living as our true selves.
We “are” our LinkedIn titles, our social labels, the roles others assign us. But to live is different—to chase curiosity, to act from joy rather than duty, to show up authentically without the mask.
As I turn 37, my intention is to live more than to be. I want to show up more authentically and not hide any parts of myself. To live as who I truly am, not just the version that blends in or wins approval.
It’ll probably be easier said than done. But every decision I make at 37 is a choice: do I move closer to being, or closer to living?
Turning 37 Could Be the Loneliest Chapter
I recently discussed with a friend the idea of “the lonely chapter.” Basically, it’s a period of so much growth that we lose touch with who we were and many of the people we were once surrounded by, en route to the new versions of ourselves we’re becoming.
The lonely chapter isn’t punishment—it’s proof that growth is working, even if it feels isolating.
Turning 37 means another year of growth. I’ve changed a lot in this short time. I’ve also lost a few friends along the way, which lines up with the lonely chapter theory. But the good news is I’ve made some new ones who fit well with the person I am today.
The lonely chapter also forces tradeoffs: connection versus solitude, fun in the moment versus building for the long term.
Just this week I’ve made new friends who are already inviting me to outings. And while I’m honored to be included, I know saying yes to weekend trips means saying no to the work I need to do to complete the career change I’ve been targeting for years.
It’s hard and not always ideal. But in my 37 years of life I’ve learned this much: growth has a cost, and sacrifices are part of the ticket.
Money Is Funny
Money is funny in that it’s the one thing nearly all of us want more of, regardless of how much we already have.
It’s also one of the few things we’ll sacrifice our health for. And we’ve all heard stories of people sacrificing families, friendships, reputations—even lives—for it.
At 37, the long-term money game matters more than ever. I’m thinking about laying the foundation for the future—family and retirement to be exact. But with that, I never want to lose sight of this: money is just a means to an end.
Living in a safe place, eating quality foods, having financial peace, taking care of family, and enjoying freedom—that’s all I really need. If I can check those boxes, I’ve won my money game and stepped off the hamster wheel.
At 37, I don’t want to be rich. I want to be free.
Hard Work Will Always Be A Super Power
Some years ago, a successful friend told me hard work was “played out.” His logic was simple: he knew people making $400,000 a year in tech sales with minimal effort. To him, that meant anyone grinding for $60k was wasting time.
I understood his reasoning, but I also knew he missed the bigger picture. Hard work extends far beyond career and money.
It takes hard work to maintain optimal health, fulfilling relationships, and good financial habits. It takes even harder work to change things that don’t serve us—misaligned careers, toxic relationships, bad vices.
I’m not certain of many things in this life. But at 37, I’m convinced that hard work can be a superpower as we try to live the best versions of our lives possible.
Turning 37 With the Goal to Stop Striving
All my life I’ve been a striver. I’m wired to set ambitious goals and diligently work toward them. The result has been a life I’m proud of. But 37 forces me to wonder if I’ll ever reach a point of pure contentment with where I am in the moment.
Striving has had its place. It’s kept me from quiet desperation. It’s pushed me to challenge the status quo of my own life. But it’s also left me in a constant low-grade state of anxiety about the future.
Life right now is good. But I rarely enjoy it fully because I’m living in tomorrow while today passes me by. Truth is, it’s exhausting. Even the strongest can’t carry endless striving forever.
Fortunately, the 37-year-old me recognizes the pattern and wants change. Not by losing my work ethic, but by redirecting it—focusing on maintaining what I’ve already built instead of chasing the next shiny thing.
37 isn’t about giving up ambition. It’s about aiming it toward depth instead of endless more.
Life Vision Turning 37
This will almost certainly be the year where I settle down after 2+ years of living on the go as a digital nomad. I look forward to the next chapter and want to structure it wisely. By pulling wisdom from past mistakes and lessons, I’m aiming to align more closely with what I truly want.
A big part of that vision is love. I’ve been missing it the past few years, guarding myself from falling too hard while traveling. It’s been a pity because love is one of life’s greatest gifts. But when it comes, the key isn’t just to find love—it’s to love well.
My vision at 37 is to create a frictionless life—where decisions flow in line with my true desires. If I stay clear on what I want and act accordingly, I trust I’ll get there.
A year from now, I’ll be back here at 38. Let’s see how far I’ve come.