What makes a man high value?
If money is the measure, then I suppose my recent earnings would place me ahead of 88% of other men. But does that really make me high value? I don’t think so.
So what does? Let’s find out. But first, a quick story…
In the mid-1990s, three ambitious executives transformed a regional energy provider into a financial powerhouse. Through bold strategy, innovation, and aggressive expansion, they unlocked billions of dollars in new opportunities, earning admiration on Wall Street.
At the helm was a visionary leader, deeply connected to both business and government relations. At the peak of his success, his personal fortune was estimated at $300–$400 million. Alongside him was a brilliant strategist, whose risk and investment maneuvers grew his net worth to $60 million. Rounding out the trio was a financial architect, a master of structuring deals, who amassed $50 million.
Money Doesn’t Make a High Value Man
By all traditional measures, these men were considered high value. They had wealth, power, and influence—everything society tells us defines success.
But behind the scenes, these men weren’t building a lasting empire—they were engineering one of the greatest corporate frauds in history. Through accounting manipulation, deceptive financial practices, and hidden debt, they propped up the illusion of profitability while their company hemorrhaged money. Investors, employees, and the public had no idea they were standing on a financial house of cards.
When the truth came out in 2001, Enron collapsed overnight, wiping out $74 billion in shareholder value, leaving thousands of employees without jobs or pensions. The once-revered executives who had been hailed as visionaries faced public disgrace and legal consequences.
- CEO Kenneth Lay saw his fortune and reputation destroyed before passing away before sentencing.
- Jeffrey Skilling, the mastermind behind Enron’s aggressive strategy, was sentenced to 24 years in prison (later reduced).
- CFO Andrew Fastow, the financial architect of their fraud, served six years in prison after admitting to orchestrating off-the-books schemes.
The scandal reshaped corporate regulations, leading to the Sarbanes-Oxley Act, a law designed to prevent similar financial deception.
Lesson On What Makes A Man High Value
These men had wealth, power, and influence, yet their lack of integrity and accountability proved they were anything but high value. Their story is a reminder that money alone doesn’t define a man’s worth—it’s character, ethics, and the impact he leaves on others that truly matter.
So if money isn’t the true measure of a high value man, what is?
Ten Traits of the Real High Value Man
A large portion of men have fallen into the trap of thinking their true self-worth is tied to their net worth. When money becomes the primary measure of value, men are forced into constant competition, striving to climb higher on an endless financial ladder. But in a game like this, everyone ultimately loses—because there will always be someone with more money. That’s why I’ve chosen not to play.
Instead, I believe a man’s worth should be measured by qualities that money can never replace. By removing dollars as the benchmark of value, we can turn our attention inward and focus on the only competition that truly matters—the one we have with ourselves.
With that in mind, here are the 10 primary traits that define a real high value man:
1) High Value Men Embrace Healthy Masculinity
Despite the decades-long assault on masculinity, real high value men remain steadfast in living according to their true nature—as leaders, protectors, and providers. They embrace their innate differences from women, not as a means of superiority, but as complementary strengths that contribute to a balanced, functional society. High value men respect and value both roles, recognizing that a thriving community depends on the unique contributions of both men and women.
At home, high value men partner with their wives, bringing their natural strengths to the table while elevating and appreciating the contributions of their partners. They lead with confidence, not dominance, and serve as positive role models to their children, who benefit from the stability and security provided by a strong male presence in their lives.
I’ve witnessed this firsthand in my own life. Over the years, my family has increasingly looked to me for guidance, recognizing the value of my wisdom, generosity, and commitment to excellence. Just last week, my sister was discussing a situation with my mom, who then asked, “Have you run it by him first?” before making her final decision. It was a reminder that true leadership isn’t claimed—it’s earned through trust, reliability, and the willingness to take responsibility.
High value men don’t apologize for their masculinity—they embrace it with purpose, using it to uplift their families, communities, and the world around them.
2) High Value Men Create Value
If only men who are rich or those earning six figures or more were considered high value, then what does that say about the rest of the population? That would mean that the vast majority of men—including military personnel, teachers, police officers, construction workers, and countless others—would be labeled as “low value.” But can we truly say these men aren’t valuable?
Imagine what would happen if they all suddenly disappeared. The world, as we know it, would grind to a halt.
Rather than seeing men through the lens of their bank accounts, we should judge them by the value they bring to the marketplace and society. With this perspective, we recognize that most men have inherent value. It frees us from the endless race to accumulate more wealth and instead allows us to focus on becoming the best versions of ourselves.
3) High Value Men Know How to Manage Their Money
Creating value and making money is one thing; managing it wisely is another. Earning a fortune means little if, at the end of the day, it’s all squandered.
Basic financial skills like budgeting, saving, and spending responsibly form the foundation. Then come more advanced skills like investing, optimizing taxes, and giving. A man who masters these is already ahead of the vast majority, considering how poorly most people handle their finances.
But it’s not about competition—it’s about responsibility. Managing money well enables men to take care of themselves and lead their families. As such, a man who recklessly mismanages his household finances cannot truly be considered high value.
4) High Value Men Are Secure With Themselves
A few weeks ago, while out with friends, I asked a lovely woman on a date. She responded by asking my age. When I told her I was 36, she scrunched her face and said that was too old for her liking. My response? I simply shrugged and walked away. To my surprise, this indifference gave her second thoughts—she eagerly handed me her number and asked me to call her.
I’m not claiming to be a high value man, but I believe what caught her attention was my security in myself. I wasn’t offended by her reaction. I accept my age, and I accept rejection as part of life. Carrying on with grace is far more appealing than being defensive or insecure.
High value men embody this same self-assurance. They know who they are, lean on their strengths, and own their weaknesses while constantly improving. They navigate the world authentically, understanding that not everyone will like them—and that’s okay. This confidence not only earns them admiration but also grants them a rare sense of freedom.
5) High Value Men Are Leaders, Not Followers
Many younger men today struggle to determine who they are and what they want in life. With fathers less present and positive male influences dwindling, many have turned to internet personalities—figures like Andrew Tate, who has millions of followers.
I’m not saying Tate is bad. I use him as an example of a broader issue: a lack of self-leadership. Instead of forming their own values and directing themselves, many men blindly follow influencers without questioning whether their teachings align with their own beliefs.
Meanwhile, the high value men I know don’t follow trends; they think for themselves. They take in information, form their own opinions, and, when necessary, choose the right leaders to follow—because true leadership also means knowing when to be a good follower.
6) High Value Men Take Good Care of Themselves
A truly high value man understands that self-care is non-negotiable. They maintain a foundation of physical, mental, and emotional well-being that supports every area of life.
They respect their bodies—not just to look good but to feel strong, energized, and capable. They prioritize nutrition, fueling themselves with foods that enhance both mental and physical performance. Rest and recovery are equally important, with sleep and stress management forming essential pillars of their routine.
Self-care extends beyond fitness. High value men invest in their mental health by continuously learning, staying curious, and remaining open to growth. They process emotions rather than suppress them and seek support when needed—through therapy, mentorship, or self-reflection.
7) High Value Men Are Brutally Honest With Themselves & Others
The true superpower of high value men is their willingness to be brutally honest—with themselves and others. They confront reality head-on, no matter how uncomfortable, and hold themselves to the highest standards.
Take, for example, American politics in recent years. Many men saw firsthand the cognitive decline of former President Biden but, because of their political leanings, refused to acknowledge it. They chose denial over truth—until the moment came when his struggles to articulate even a few coherent sentences made it impossible to ignore. What had been obvious all along was finally admitted by all.
Integrity is the cornerstone of a high value man’s character. By aligning their actions with their values, they earn trust—often stepping into leadership roles within their families, communities, organizations, and businesses.
In a world where truth is increasingly subjective, high value men stand firm. They reject comforting illusions and convenient narratives, embracing reality for what it is—not what they wish it to be. Because they understand that true success is built on a foundation of honesty, accountability, and unwavering principles.
8) High Value Men Make Others Around Them Better
I once had a wealthy friend who, despite having millions, failed to uplift those around him. Instead of using his resources to empower others, he hoarded his wealth and wielded it as a tool for control. He even once told me that he would “buy” a mutual friend of ours who resisted his influence—viewing people as assets to be owned rather than individuals to be respected.
In the end, his attempts at dominance backfired. He lost some of his closest friends, and new acquaintances distanced themselves once they recognized his controlling nature. He had money, but he lacked what truly matters—genuine connection and respect.
Contrast that with someone like LeBron James, who used his tremendous wealth and influence to elevate his lifelong friends. Instead of controlling them, he empowered them. His childhood best friends, Maverick Carter and Rich Paul, became highly successful in their own right, now worth $60 million and $120 million respectively. Rather than hoarding opportunities for himself, LeBron created pathways for his friends to thrive.
That’s the difference. True high value men lift others up. They don’t use power to manipulate; they use it to inspire. They create win-win situations, understanding that real influence isn’t about control—it’s about impact.
9) High Value Men Work Toward Self-Mastery
High value men dedicate themselves to personal mastery. They confront their egos, build discipline, and eliminate the vices that hold them back. Rather than seeking external validation, they focus inward—on constant self-improvement.
Too many men today fall into the trap of consuming others’ success instead of building their own. They binge-watch motivational content, endlessly seeking inspiration but never taking real action. High value men reject this cycle. They understand that true progress isn’t about how much advice you absorb—it’s about what you actually do with it.
This reminds me of an old friend who always talked about success but never built the habits to achieve it. Instead of executing on his biggest ideas, he spent hours consuming motivational content from guys like Gary Vee and David Goggins. He’d get fired up for a while, convinced he was on the brink of transformation—only to lose momentum and fall back into frustration over his stagnant life.
Self-mastery isn’t about temporary motivation—it’s about sustained action. High value men don’t just seek inspiration; they apply it. They turn knowledge into discipline, and discipline into results.
10) High Value Men Have a Sense of Duty & Responsibility
High value men step up—whether at work, within their families, or in their communities. They understand that duty isn’t always enjoyable, but it is essential. Leadership isn’t about convenience; it’s about responsibility, even when the task at hand is difficult or undesirable.
I detest the idea of war, but I have immense respect and appreciation for the men (and women) who have stepped up to defend their homelands and families. As we speak, well over 500,000 soldiers have lost their lives in the Ukraine War. I’d wager that many of them did not want to be there. They weren’t fighting for personal gain or out of choice—but out of a deep sense of duty and responsibility to something greater than themselves.
That’s what makes each and every one of them high value in my book. Because a man’s worth isn’t measured by comfort or convenience, and certainly not his checkbook—it’s measured by his willingness to answer the call when he is needed most.
Conclusion:
Let’s be clear: money is important—but it doesn’t define a man’s value. True value lies in the qualities we cultivate, the impact we have, and the legacy we leave behind. The world doesn’t need more men chasing status; it needs more men of integrity, discipline, and purpose.
Now, I’d love to hear from you. What makes a man truly high value in your book? Is it just about money, or is there something more? Drop a comment below and let’s discuss.
3 Responses
Important topic you’re touching here and I can see you’ve put significant thought into developing these principles. While I found your points thought-provoking, I’d like to share my perspective, which differs in two important ways:
1. On Traditional Gender Roles
I don’t personally subscribe to the traditional gender roles you describe in your first point about “embracing healthy masculinity.” I believe that leadership, protection, and provision aren’t inherently masculine traits, but human capabilities that can be expressed by anyone regardless of gender. In my view, a truly valuable person develops their unique strengths independent of societal gender expectations.
The qualities you describe throughout your article—honesty, financial responsibility, self-improvement, lifting others up—are admirable traits for any person. I wonder if framing them specifically as masculine limits their universal application?
2. Individual Uniqueness vs. Generalization
My second point of divergence is around generalizing within genders. I believe that human beings are incredibly diverse and complex, and our value stems more from our individual character and actions than from how well we conform to gender-specific ideals.
I think there’s a risk in creating a single template for what makes someone “high value.” What’s valuable in one context or relationship might be different in another, and I prefer thinking about human-worth in a more personalised, less categorised way.
That said, I deeply appreciate many of the core values you promote. These principles transcend gender and reflect what makes any person admirable.
Hi Ela! Firstly, it was great to meet you in person recently and thank you for checking out the blog. As I mentioned to you in our chat, I totally agree with all of your points. I think everything I touched on here can be applied to every person regardless of gender. I didn’t do a great job of making it abundantly clear but I don’t even buy into the notion of high value men. I think we are all essentially equal and silly metrics like money, notoriety, or success only serve to make us miserable through competition with each other. I definitely don’t want to generalize, but I think these are the values I would try to distill in my own son when that day comes – but of course, he will have to chart his own unique path. Cheers to hopefully many interesting conversation to come with you!
Thank you for your thoughtful response, Moses. I completely agree that the core values you identified—authenticity, self-improvement, responsibility, and lifting others up—are precisely the values I would want to transmit to any child of mine in the future (and yes, I’m deliberately saying “child” rather than “son”).
In my view of the world, which I believe is both ideal and entirely realistic since I’ll be the one transmitting these values, I want a daughter to have the same opportunities, expectations, and encouragement as a son would. These qualities strengthen anyone’s character regardless of gender.
Looking forward to the next article and discussion!