Generational Curses
Do you worry that your past may be holding you back? If so, it may be time to break free of those generational curses that are keeping you stuck in place.In this article we will discuss what generational curses are and how you can improve your life by breaking them.
Contents
Our Origins Matter
I never got to know my father. But fortunately, I’ve been able to learn a lot about him through conversations with family members that knew him.
I learned about his sharecropper roots. And about his early life in small town Mississippi. I also learned about the tragic passing of his own father at the hands of white supremacists when he was just a young kid.
Additionally, I discovered some fascinating similarities between my father and I that I would have never known about had I not began asking questions. Like me, my father had his own unique way of navigating the world. He also had an affinity for books and economics just as I do.
For as many positives I can list about my father, he also had some glaring negative traits that haunted him. For instance, my father spent practically my entire life addicted to crack cocaine.
What Are Generational Curses?
Generational curses are powerfully negative traits, habits, beliefs, and ways of living that are handed down to us through the generations of our families.
We may feel that we are perfectly unique, but in reality we are probably more similar to our ancestors than we think. A perfect example of this can be seen when we consider that children of drug addicted parents are eight-times more likely to become addicts themselves.
But generational curses can come in many forms. Challenges ranging from poor health, bad money habits, divorce, and mental disorders are just a few of those potentially cursed gifts which we receive by way of our families.
As such, understanding why these undesirable factors are passed along through generations requires us to examine how both genetics and environment helps shape our long term destinies.
Nature & Nurture
The classic debate on human development has always focused on nature vs nature. In other words, are people more influenced by their genetics or does a person’s environment play a more significant role?
As it turns out, both play a role in shaping who we are.
This happens because genetic traits are handed down to us by our parents, but how we express those genes is largely up to us. Let’s take obesity as an example.
A person born to obese parents would be more likely to have obesity promoting genes – and thus be more likely to become obese themselves. But, at the same time, the lifestyles of these individuals will ultimately determine whether they actually become obese.
This is important to keep in mind as we dive deeper into the idea of breaking generational curses.
Can Generational Curses Be Broken?
In short, generational curses can be broken.
We should know this intuitively because each moment of each day provides us with a set of choices for how we will conduct our lives. But the process of changing our long term destinies is not always fun, fast, or easy.
But it can be done.
How to Break Generational Curses
What we are really referring to when we talk about breaking generational curses is undergoing the process of behavioral change. If successful, we will produce better results for us and future generations to come.
A lot goes into this process such as making changes to the way we think and feel, changing our environments, improving habits, and even re-imagining our identities.
Ultimately, what’s best for you will depend on your unique circumstances. But I’d like to present a few places to start.
Facing Issues Head On
I’ve had to come to grips in recent months that I’ve inherited some potentially harmful personality traits that could be holding me back. Chiefly among these would be the combination of my dad’s propensity to be a bit of a maverick and my mom’s take charge personality.
These aren’t bad traits in isolation, but I do notice that they can lead me to be very rigid about my ways of doing things with little room for compromise. This obviously is not a good thing if I want to one day marry and share a life with someone else.
That said, the first thing to do is to admit that there is something going on in our lives that needs to be changed. It is important that you turn and face your issues rather than run from them or pretend that they don’t exist.
Determining what is not going right may require a bit of self reflection. Meditation, journaling, and talking to those you trust are all good ways to explore areas needing work.
Taking Small Steps Toward Change
Change isn’t easy. In fact, change is so difficult that psychologists have developed an entire six-staged model that highlights just how nuanced change is.
This model is known as the Transtheoretical Model, or more simply the Stages of Change model.
The Transtheoretical Model operates on the assumption that people do not change behaviors quickly and decisively. Rather, change in behavior, especially habitual behavior, occurs continuously through a cyclical process.
Most of us have experienced how difficult it can be to achieve behavior change. Things like sticking to new year’s resolutions, losing weight, and saving money are all common areas where we fail time and time again.
With this in mind, the best thing for you to do is to take the process of change slowly. Here are some tips.
- Focus on one thing at a time. Ever try to accomplish multiple goals at once? I have, and each time has resulted in failure. As a result, I’ve learned to harness the power of focus by aiming to complete one major goal at a time. For example, there a lot of things competing for my attention in life – but I prioritize this blog and avoid committing to other major goals. Do the same for your behavior and habit changes for better results.
- Develop an action plan. Once you know what to focus on, be systematic about improving upon it. This will look different for each person, but spend some time formulating a strategy that will help you be efficient. This may include seeking outside help, eliminating toxic people from your life, or adding in new habits. Really spend time writing things down so you know how to direct your energy.
- Work on consistency. You won’t ever be perfect, so don’t try. Instead, focus on being as consistent as possible over a long period of time. And remember to always pick yourself back up when you fall off your path.
Educate Yourself
Knowledge is power when it comes to breaking generational curses. This is because knowledge can help you understand the full scope of what you are dealing with and inform you on possible ways to change.
For example, a person struggling with a mental illness could benefit from talking to their parents about the roots of the illness. In doing so, this person may learn about the lineage of the issue and discover hidden insights.
Another form of education would be to turn to books, the internet, and subject matter experts to learn more navigating whatever one is facing. A therapist would be an example for a person with mental health struggles.
These resources could equip you with the knowledge and skills to create the lasting change that you seek.
Practice Change
Deciding to change and equipping yourself with knowledge will only get you so far if you don’t do the work that is needed to get you to your intended destination.
This is where practice comes in.
When I say practice, I am referring to the process of actually implementing the changes required for you to break those generational curses. This is important because without consistent practice, you will simply repeat the same patterns that you always have.
Always remember that it is critical for you to actually do the work that is required over an extended amount of time for the changes to actually stick.
Be Kind To Yourself
You’ve identified where you’d like to make changes, have equipped yourself with knowledge, and are actually doing the work needed to make things happen.
What can possibly go wrong in this scenario?
In reality, a lot can go wrong because life is complex. And changing generations’ worth of traits, habits, beliefs, and ways of living can be a tough thing to do.
With this in mind, you should embrace the idea that failure could enter the equation.
To illustrate, an obese adult who was born to obese parents may have a really difficult time unwinding the decades worth of poor eating habits that have been in place since the day they were born. In fact, poor eating existed before they were even born because their parents also at poorly. And it’s feasible that their grandparents also had similar dietary habits.
It may be hard to know just how far back the patterns run.
At any rate, this person should give themselves some grace if they were to mess up with a new diet plan because old habits die hard.
The same idea applies to anyone making any sort of significant change. Expect failure and don’t get too down on yourself if it happens. Your ultimate success will be based on how quickly you are able to recover and get back on track.
Appreciate the Journey
Those who are most successful at any endeavor typically learn to enjoy the process of achieving their goals even more than they enjoy the results.This is a powerful mindset because achieving most goals often takes a lot of hard work applied over a long period of time.
If you enjoy the journey, you are more likely to reach your destination. Many people quit along the path toward achievement out of frustration that they haven’t arrived at their intended destination fast enough.
A great way to learn to appreciate the journey is to always stop and reflect on your progress so you can see just how far you’ve come.
Enlarge & Capitalize On Your Gifts
Finally, I must say that there is a completely different perspective to keep in mind when considering generational curses. That is, we should never forget that we’ve also likely be endowed with many wonderful gifts in which we should always seek to enlarge and capitalize on.
For example, I’ve been given the gift of an analytical mind from my father and a self-assured confidence from my mother. Both of these are gifts that enable me to do things like produce this blog and share my ideas without fear of judgement.
You can do the same.
I’d like to hear from you on what gifts you’ve received from your ancestors in the comments. And while you’re at it, let me know what things you might want to improve about yourself. Because after all, none of us are perfect!