This post is designed as a guide for financially conscious men who want to avoid falling in love with the wrong woman. I’ll be sharing wisdom from personal experiences determining which types of women to avoid in my own life.
Perhaps lessons I’ve learned the hard way can help make selecting the right woman easier for you.
That said, it’s important to remember that we’re all unique, and there is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all approach. You may find that the types of women I avoid are perfectly suitable for you.
Therefore, consider this post not as a set of rigid rules, but as a guide to help you analyze your own options and make informed decisions.
Using Data to Identify Women to Avoid
Wilkinson and Finkbeiner (WF), a San Diego law firm, compiled data from over 115 studies to put together an accurate picture of what is happening with divorce. They found that nearly 50 percent of all marriages ended in divorce along with about 41 percent of all first year marriages.
These statistics paint a somber picture about the state of relationships today. But they can also be useful in our breakdown of the types of women to avoid. Accordingly, I will do my best to connect the personal anecdotes shared with the data from WF and other sources to provide a well rounded analysis.
Let’s jump right in.
Avoid Women Who Are Terrible With Money
Being financially sound is essential for living a wealthy life.
Therefore, the wealth-seeking man should actively seek female partners who are financially savvy, while staunchly avoiding women who are terrible with money.
There are many signs that a woman is bad with money. These include living beyond her means, over-reliance on credit cards and debt, an inability to budget, and frivolous or impulsive spending driven by emotional issues or a desire to keep up with the Joneses.
The WF study found that foolish spenders and money fights increased the likelihood of divorce by 45 percent and 30 percent, respectively. These figures don’t guarantee failure, but they do tell us that finances are important, especially for men like us who seek to build wealth.
One of the most intelligent women I’ve dated was a successful pharmacist with a solid career.
However, she was pretty terrible with money. Her weakness was retail therapy, which she used to cope with work stress. She believed her years of hard work justified her reckless spending. To her credit, she was very open-minded and willing to adopt better financial habits.
Steer Clear Of The Woman Who Loves Debt
Avoiding the types of women who love debt is a wise move for your wealth. Research by Self Financial found that the average American will pay $641,032 in interest fees over their lives. With nearly every American carrying some level of debt, it’s certain the majority of women you meet will have some too.
But that doesn’t mean you have to be stuck with it. Instead, you can choose to avoid women who seem content with keeping their debts around, and focus on those who’d like to make financial progress.
You can still have the house, car, and education of everyone else – you just have to find a woman who’s willing to do it via the debt free route.
An old friend of mine married a lawyer who had more than $100,000 in student loan debt that she refused to get rid of. They referred to the steadily increasing balance as a “debt for life” that they would service forever.
Of course, everyone makes their own choices in life. I only share this as an example of the kinds of decisions we face as marrying a woman who desires the typical American lifestyle could mean a lifetime of debt.
Avoid The Lying Type
Where there is deceit, trust cannot exist. And without trust, no relationship can truly thrive.
That’s why it’s essential to avoid women who lie. Building and maintaining wealth requires a stable, predictable environment that fosters peace and mental clarity. We need to know who we can rely on, and above all, who we can trust.
Some of the most damning lies in relationships are about finances, affairs, personal backgrounds, or mental health issues. Once they reveal themselves, these lies could destroy your relationship as you realize the woman you love is not who you thought she was.
I’ve experienced first hand the destructive potential of lies with an ex who admittedly lied as a strategy to manipulate and “keep the peace”. Whether it was outright deceit or lies by omission, she felt lying was the noble thing to do to protect people’s feelings if the truth was too painful.
In the end, it really only served to erode all trust.
Avoid The Woman Who’s Unproductive
Work ethic doesn’t commonly rank high on most men’s list of needs in a woman. Instead, we tend to prize traits such as kindness, compassion, and physical attraction.
In spite of that, productivity is important. And because of that, the wealth-seeking man should avoid types of women who are unproductive.
Wealth is built through a combination of productivity and financial discipline. Being productive generates financial resources; financial discipline ensures those resources grow.
There’s a reason married couples build more wealth. When two people who are highly productive across multiple life dimensions unite, they form a synergistic team that builds 3-9 times more wealth than non-married people.
It’s crucial to seek partners who share a commitment to productivity and growth. Aligning with someone who values and practices productivity can significantly impact not only financial success but also overall life satisfaction.
It’s also important to acknowledge that productivity extends beyond just the financial realm. Living the best life possible requires effort in our relationships, personal development, spiritual walks, socially, and in managing our physical and mental health.
The Woman With Poor Mental Health
There was once a very lovely woman who I dated. She was a gorgeous, smart mechanical engineer who exuded feminism and elegance. She was very kind and in amazing shape. In other words, she was my perfect match.
At least that’s what I thought until she revealed to me an underlying mental struggle with severe depression.
Sadly, she had been scarred from a mentally and emotionally abusive upbringing that caused her to think about bringing serious harm to her mother. As a result, she undertook regular mental counseling which included medications to make things better.
I tell this story to provide a glimpse into the complexities that can exist beneath the surface of a seemingly perfect woman.
It is estimated that approximately 20% of the population lives with some form of mental illness and that these disorders increase the likelihood of divorce by 20-80 percent depending on the disorder.
While I’m not suggesting you rule out a woman entirely for having mental struggles, I am urging you to understand her mental state before you marry her.
A wealthy life is predicated on peace and stability. Therefore, you should seek to avoid committing to a long term future with a woman whose mental struggles will bring you constant turmoil.
Avoid The Sexually Liberated Women
This is not a judgment or condemnation, but a caution for men looking to protect their wealth: be cautious about getting too deeply involved with women who prioritize sexual liberation.
A Forbes survey of 1,000 divorced individuals found that 34% cited infidelity as the cause of their split. Additionally, a WF study revealed that infidelity was the leading reason for 55% of divorces.
This suggests that we can reduce the risk of being cheated on by avoiding relationships with women who require sexual adventure to feel fulfilled.
I once dated an attractive college cheerleader who embraced sexual liberation. We had a lot of fun, but I never felt secure enough to commit to a relationship with her. There was a constant stream of men who would randomly show up at her house or call her at odd hours.
I ultimately decided it was too risky to entrust my heart and finances to a woman who might struggle with a traditional, committed lifestyle.
Avoid The Girl Who Just Wants to Have Fun
Cyndi Lauper once said that “girls just want to have fun”. Admittedly, it’s a catchy tune that belongs in any playlist. But it’s not something men should take to heart.
In fact, I suggest we be wary of and avoid the girls who want to have too much fun.
This is the type of woman who prizes leisure over adulthood and responsibility. Forget about managing a budget if it means limiting eating out or taking fewer trips. And don’t you dare suggest getting to bed at your normal time on weekends when there is a nightclub somewhere blasting the Hot 100.
I’ve dated fun lovers in the past, and in my experience, they aren’t good for your wealth.
On one hand, you’ll spend a lot of time and money keeping them entertained. On the other hand, they’ll struggle to appreciate the focus, discipline, and work ethic required to generate the funds being used to keep them entertained.
It’s quite the paradox. But it’s easily solvable by simply avoiding these types of women altogether.
Surprisingly, Golddiggers May Get A Pass
In spite of their bad rap, I’m not so certain gold diggers should be avoided—especially for men looking to build wealth. Few things motivate men to succeed like women. And since gold diggers seek men with money, they can actually inspire us to earn as much as possible.
Just ask 72-year-old Bill Belichick with his 24-year-old girlfriend, or 49-year-old Leonardo DiCaprio, who’s dating a 26-year-old woman from Italy. Then there’s the infamous Donald Sterling, who, at the age of 80, was dating a 31-year-old.
What enables these older men to attract their beautiful, young significant others? They have millions of dollars among them. And while I’m sure they’re fun to be around, my guess is the extra money doesn’t hurt.
The same can apply to you. As you ascend the wealth ladder, your dating options may begin to expand to include the type of women who prioritize dating men with money. Alternatively, you can try to earn more if you’d like to see your options improve.
Just be careful to go into things eyes wide open as your new beau may only be around for as long as the money lasts.
Avoiding Women Is About Having Standards
This article isn’t intended to bash women. Quite the opposite in fact as just about everything mentioned can just as easily be extended towards men.
My goal with this site is to be as authentic as possible. I write from truth and from the heart. I believe in having high standards. These are the things I will teach my kids.
The points above are my own values when it comes to selecting and avoiding certain types of women.
Yours likely differ, and that’s okay.
What I ultimately hope you take from this post is a lesson on how you can apply your standards to the real life situations you find yourself in since using our heads when wearing rose colored glasses can be difficult to do.
Don’t make love robotic, but don’t be blinded by it either. And above all else, don’t be afraid to reject the types of women who aren’t the right ones for you.
2 Responses
The woman with poor mental health hits home for me. I’ve been guilty in the past of using my mental health as an excuse for (1) not holding myself accountable for my wrongdoings in a relationship and (2) not being responsible for my own self-love. It has been a long and hard journey to come to this realization and to see how my mental health has impacted some of my romantic relationships. At the end of the day, you have to date someone who takes charge of their mental health and prioritizes growth and peace within themselves AND in the relationship. Ah, life lessons! Side note, surround yourself with people who align with you on this. It will make the growing and healing easier so that you can eventually position yourself for a happy healthy relationship!
Hi Shay! Wow, great comment. Relationships are so interesting in that both people come with differing histories and must somehow mold harmoniously. Mental health plays a huge role in this for sure. I commend you for taking responsibility for yourself and your past results. Ownership is what enables us to grow. I’ve been there with women who have had poor mental health, and I know my mental health wasn’t the best when I was going broke. Life lessons for sure!